Rocky IV - 1985
One would imagine it'd be pretty easy to make a bad film. You just fill it with awful things. What's harder, by leaps and bounds, however, is making a great film. There are only a couple hundred of those in existence on this Earth. Somewhere in the middle of the easiest and the toughest in degree of difficulty is how hard it is to make a good, bad film. You know, a film that is bad, but is really good at it. BUT, and here's where you really got to lock in, it must be just insanelydifficult to make the best, worst film. But THAT...is precisely what Sylvester Stallone has done with Rocky IV.
Are your synapses in knots yet? Have you lost the thread of this convo? Are the opposites and polarities threatening to pull you apart like the spaghettification we'd suffer at the edge of a black hole? Good. Congratulations! You have arrived at precisely what this film really is. Because, my God is Rocky IVan absurd, ludicrous jaunt. And hallelujah is it an entirely glorious one.
I've seen this film more than just about any other Rocky. By the looks of it, I'm not the only one. One publication did a survey of which film in the franchise was the very best awhile back. The results? A two-way TIE between the original and IV. Do you realize how absurd that is?!! The first is a bona fide classic, full of heart and life, artistic and expansive. It's every thing that a best picture should be. And yet, to the fans, Drago stands toe to toe. This boggles the mind, even as it makes perfect sense.
I read a few reviews slamming this film after my most recent rewatch. They called it jingoistic and falsely patriotic. They said it was totally melodramatic, 80's action nonsense, complete with montages and music videos (practically). And you know what? They are absolutely RIGHT. The film stars a freaking robot who ends up getting kinky and...domestic?...with Paulie. It features a height disparity between fighters so great that they almost appear to be different species of human. There's a fight scheduled in Russia, ON Christmas, for NO money withOUT his family. Over 30% of the film is montages, some of which could be lifted right out of MTV's mid 80's lineup.
So, sure. Haters gonna hate. But Rocky IV is also oh so much more. For starters, on paper and with Dolph Lundgren onscreen, Sly crafted the perfect villain. It just can't get any better in terms of sports tropes. He's 47 feet tall with 0% body fat. He mutters a mere 9 lines in the film, every single one of them epically memorable.
"I must break you."
"If he dies, he dies."
"He is not human, he is a piece of iron."
"To the end."
There's a few, delivered in a perfectly awful robotic tone. The revenge plot is nothing new, but it's milked to maximum effect here.
And look sure, we can slam the montages. But are they not great stinking songs? There's a lot of gear-shifting and looking back over past films' memories to "No Easy Way Out," but I'm moved every single time I watch it. "Hearts on Fire" is just a soul-stirring 80's arena anthem scoring what may be the greatest montage of all-time. Man vs. Machine is an age-old query, but nowhere has it been so corporeally and viscerally displayed. Rocky's logs and carts vs. Drago's 'roids, Smith machines, and indoor track. It gets me every time. (Maybe it's no Battleship Potemkin, but it just about perfected the technique. You heard it here first).
There are other great elements hanging around the edges of this picture too. Speaking of music, Apollo's fight features an outstanding James Brown cameo, and "Living in America" is a dynamite track. It's a raucous, euphoric beginning to a fight that ends in infamy. Shout out to Burt Young as Paulie here too for finally finding the right words to express his friendship with Rock. Finally, I gotta give it up to Tony Burton as Duke. I've loved the guy since the first film, and he gives the most pulse-pounding shouted lines from the corner here. After the first blow: "He's worried! You cut him! You hurt him! You see? You see? He's not a machine, he's a man! Again, before the final round: "All your strength, all your power, all your love. Everything you've got. Right now!”
Rocky IV, in the final analysis, has the "chill factor" in spades. Maybe it's a touch dated, or a victim of the time of its creation. Yeah, perhaps the leanly clad Balboa dies up on the snow-covered mountain in Russia. But, I'll still ride or die for the film's final message: "If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!" Truer words were never spoken.
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